As a professional counselor, Robert Moreno talks for a living. But he lives a quiet life. What draws him out is his purpose: to be the male role model he wished he had all along.

Plainview, Texas, is a small town with a shared struggle. Approximately 23% of its nearly 23,000 residents live at or below the poverty line. Even so, this is a community defined by its work ethic and ability to persevere. Resilience comes standard.

In 2013, a cattle processing plant, which was part of what gave Plainview its identity, had to suddenly shut its doors due to drought, taking with it over 2,000 jobs. At times, planning for the future can feel like chasing a vague idea. But life goes on. Just as their mayor said, “Nobody is willing to let this community die.”

“It is a very tight-knit community, that's for sure,” Robert told us, “but there's not a whole lot of opportunity.” In Plainview, men typically end up working in physical labor like construction, not as teachers or therapists — “the caring fields,” as Robert puts it. “We see the impact this has in our homes, with a lack of fathers and male role models. But we need to change that.”

Sporting tattoos and spending most of his days in the gym, he wears a tough exterior. Yet he is the most sensitive soul.

When Headway sat down with Robert, his earnestness was on full display. He didn’t want to bring attention to himself. But by opening up, being vulnerable, and sharing his story with the world, he’d hoped to be able to reach more people than he ever could.

“And I know I've struggled with it growing up,” Robert added. This is the reality in Plainview and in many small towns across America today.

Raised in a household torn apart by his father’s alcoholism, Robert lived in a constant state of turmoil — experiencing depression at only four years old. When his dad left, Robert questioned his self-worth above all. “If my own dad didn't want me. Why would anybody else ever want me or be there for me?”

Without a supportive male role model to guide him, he felt lost. There was a void in his life that couldn’t be filled. Anger took its place. “I grew up with a lot of anger issues, and my mom tried to take me to find a therapist, and it just never worked out,” Robert told us, “The anger comes from feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm not needed. I'm alone.”

Feeling stuck and unable to connect with those around him, Robert did what he perceived was right: Be tough. Don’t cry. “Man up.” For years, Robert lived in the very same destructive cycle that had been set up for him.

One day, Robert got a call that changed everything. He got the news that his father had passed away at only 42 years old.

Shocked, it became clear to him that he was headed down the same exact path and needed to shift course. In doing so, he’d end up saving more people than just himself.

“Life started to turn around when I gave in to the fact that this life is bigger than me. Before that, I was making my poor choices and couldn't get life figured out. So my thought process to change my life was to do for others.”

Deciding to make a change was easy, but navigating it didn’t come as naturally. After all, Robert’s life had been about survival — not stability. Regardless, giving up wasn’t an option.

Tired of working physical labor, Robert gave school another shot. Soon enough, he became the first person in his extended family to graduate from college and went on to teach elementary school for eight years.

“I guess before I ever thought about becoming a counselor, through all my struggles, personal struggles, my depression, anxiety, drug use, there was so much against me,” Robert shared, ”and at some point, I told myself: Stay. Don't run. Face it. So that's what I did.”

He didn’t stop there. Fast forward to today, and Robert boasts two master’s degrees on his wall — with extra space for a third he’ll be adding soon.

Robert eventually found that his strength wasn’t in teaching itself, but in building personal connections. Through helping others, he could heal himself.

For many men, being genuine and humble can sometimes mean being quiet. Robert knows this all too well, often retreating from the world under his gym hoodie. It’s something he’s been trying to break for himself while encouraging others to do the same.

Six million men are affected by depression in the United States every single year. What’s more, mental health among men often goes untreated because they are far less likely to seek mental health treatment than women. All because there’s a stigma associated with reaching out.

This hits home for Robert, “I think that's why a lot of men really struggle. They see vulnerability as a weakness, so they mask it. We shy away from it. We isolate, we doubt, we think: I don't wanna be a burden to anybody.”

Battling stigma is central to his practice. Robert shares from the heart, reminding young men that there’s hope in reaching out. “My goal is to try to challenge more men to go into therapy, to pretty much get into your feelings.” We can’t do everything ourselves — we all need help.

Healing can take many forms. For Robert, this is the gym. To this day, the gym remains his escape; his safe space where he works on himself, building both inner and outer strength.

“The gym is everything to me. My wife knows it,” he said with a soft smile, “and if I don't go, I start to get a little grouchy. So she says, ‘I'll drive you. I'll drop you off. You need to go.” We could sense a wave of relief wash over him.

“When I'm struggling with my anxiety, depression, self-doubt, anger, whatever it is, the gym is my release,” he shared with us. “It is what helped me kick my drug habit, because there's a lot of discipline in it.”

There’s a clear parallel to be drawn between the gym and therapy. Healing begins with effort, and showing up can be the most challenging part. “You know, some days we wake up, we don't want to get it done. But if you don't, you're the only one that's going to pay for it,” Robert told us. ”That's life. You can't get around it. You've got to go through it.”

At the gym, Robert doesn’t shy away from being a therapist — he embraces it. “When I go to a gym and people get to know I'm a therapist, they're like, okay, I'm here to heal. Let me talk to Robert. But my healing is my lifting.” After all, this is where people go to work on themselves.

What makes the gym truly special to Robert is the people he shares it with. “The gym community has helped me push myself to be a better person,” he said, “we feed off each other.” Constructive criticism is central, encouraging his male friends to lower their guards, open up, and be vulnerable.

Private practice was a brand-new concept to Robert. He had no idea where to start until a friend recommended Headway. This was the breakthrough he needed: “With Headway’s help and guidance, I've been confident to go into my own practice and be able to reach many more people in my community.”

Managing the business of private practice was unfamiliar to Robert, but he found the support he needed through Headway, freeing his focus for what mattered most: “Headway is my practice partner because they take care of the overhead, and I'm able to just be a therapist.”

Working with Headway had made it possible for Robert to take insurance, maximizing his impact. Now he can reach more people in need who’d otherwise not be able to get care at all. Expanding access is always at the forefront of his mind.

“Headway has made mental health much more accessible in my community,” Robert explained. “It's amazing because I don't ever want clients to walk away from the help they're looking for, so Headway puts it on the spot. I can take out my cell phone. We'll figure it out really quickly.”

Robert lives to be the change he wishes to see in his community, so he’s willing to do whatever it takes. This is his purpose; his reason for getting out of bed. He told us, “Every day I wake up to reach as many people as I can before I leave. I can't take anything with me, but I can leave a lot of seeds behind.”

Life happens. Sometimes we’re not dealt the cards we wanted. But that didn’t stop Robert from playing his hand to become the role model he’d needed all along. Now he’s dedicated his entire life to ensuring no one has to struggle in silence like he once did.

While his father might be gone, Robert knows in his heart that he’d be proud of the man he’s become. “So when I think about my dad looking down on me, I tell him to sit back and relax, I got this. That cycle that you grew up in, I broke it.”

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